Helena's Super Secret Ninja Missions

... I could find out countries in her."
-Shakepeare's The Comedy of Errors

I had a great time with K when she visited me this weekend! We made some really random discoveries, such as a certain fast food restaurant's new Chili Cheese Bites (apparently only available in the U.K.?), the existence of the word 'scrumpy', and a list of Shakespearean insults, among other things.

Of course, I brought her to the usual tourist spots that I'd been to before, such as the London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Oxford Street, Chinatown, Trafalgar's Square, and 10 Downing Street, but I was happy to have the opportunity to explore new places (i.e. different markets and museums).

So we started off our adventures by taking a train over to Hampton Court, former home of the Tudors! I don't know if I would have known that it existed if she hadn't visited. Anyway, after hearing her talk about the merits of Showtime's interpretation, I really do feel inclined to watch that series. At the Tiltyard Cafe, we sampled rhubarb ice cream, which tasted oddly familiar, and K had her first taste of a scone with jam and clotted cream. Random: the Devonshire method of eating a scone says that one should spread clotted cream and then add a teaspoon of jam to the top, but at the time, I didn't realize that I wasn't meant to spread the jam, so it really just looked unappetizing. I think I would probably prefer the jam before the cream anyway, so it can be evenly distributed. Yes, I probably think about these things more often than I should.

"Imagine how much sex he must have had here!" -K Also I really love how tall all the beds are.

When we returned from Hampton Court, we wandered around the South Bank area and stumbled upon a small carnival! Obviously, the next logical step was to get cotton candy. And then I think we contemplated opening our own cotton candy stand.

On Saturday, I suppose the only touristy thing we did was the British Museum. I finally saw the Rosetta Stone and a ton of the exhibits on Ancient Greece. Reading the descriptions of the statues was both hilarious and somewhat puzzling. It seemed as if the vast majority of them said that while part of the statue is here, the head (or some other miscellaneous body part) is located in Athens. So K and I are looking forward to going to Athens and finding signs that tell us that the other half of the statue is actually in London. Even more so than we were before, that is.

Of course, I should also mention that we hit up Patisserie Valerie and Maison Bertaux, which was really adorable. Unfortunately, I must have neglected to take pictures for posterity. Clearly, I was overeager.

Sunday was super busy; in the morning, we met up with A to go to Spitalfield's market, where we randomly spoke to these British men about brownies and traveling, if I remember correctly. In all honesty, I was more focused on my half of the brownie than on the conversation. Are you starting to see a theme?

We eventually found our way to Brick Lane market, which was our actual destination. We had some delicious Indian food and K managed to restrain her impulses to buy gingerbread men earrings. I'm pretty sure that I'll return later to try one of those Indian restaurants for dinner, though at this point, I feel as if I say that about every place I go to. I promise this will definitely happen.

So on our way to Buckingham Palace and such, we managed to get sidetracked for the better part of three hours at the National Portrait Gallery and the National Gallery. For some reason, I think I was really shocked when I realized/remembered (?) that they're not the same museums. Anyway, I really did not expect to enjoy the National Portrait Gallery due to the fact that I don't generally enjoy that type of art. Furthermore, we didn't expect to spend so much time there. In fact, we probably only meant to look at about ten rooms or so (i.e. more Tudors, Brontë sisters, Jane Austen, and contemporary portraits), but we basically ended up wandering through the whole building. I was slightly disappointed that I didn't see J. K. Rowling's portrait, despite the fact that the map clearly said she was somewhere in rooms 35-41 (or something to that effect).
Conclusion? I need to return to seek out the J. K. Rowling portrait.

Also, I want to note that they really should do something about their computers. We spent a significant amount of time, surfing the database, trying to figure out how to locate the Brontë portrait, and it turns out that it can't be done. It would appear that you can only find out information about the subject and the artist, so they are essentially useless.

K and I pretty much agree that this portrait of Tennyson was probably the best part. Not to mention that it was right next to the one of the Brontë sisters. No, I did not mean for it to be so huge.

After watching K halfheartedly try to climb up to the lion statues in Trafalgar for a photo op, we decided to briefly pop into the National Gallery. Of course, we ended up staying until they were essentially kicking us out. Monet's Water Lilies are pretty amazing. All of them. If you're in London and you're a fan of impressionism, I highly recommend you stop by, if you haven't already. Below, you can see an image of a Van Gogh product in the gift shop.

This is one of the most idiotic products I have ever seen. When you open it, it's all blank, because of course, you're expected to paint it all yourself. I really cannot fathom what was going through the inventor's mind when he/she thought of this. Likely something along the lines of: "Oh, I'm sure there's some sucker out there that will buy a book of completely blank postcards!"

Here's to coming up with new inside jokes with an old friend!